Intl. split is over, back to normal

Almost a month ago, HG came back from his almost 2-month long stay in Japan. For the return flight, his grandma came along with him on her way to work trip in the US, so he didn't have to fly alone again. There's been a palpable change in siblings dynamics - Before HG's return, 5-yr old AK had been happy to be the interim oldest sibling over 2-yr old sister, but he's now back to a younger sibling. Our house is filled with quarrels and even more mess as it was. After a week and a half since he came back, school started. Back to normal.

For almost-8-yr old child, staying away from parents in a different country for 2 months must have been such an experience. For the younger siblings, absence of the oldest brother must have also been a significant change. 

For the parents, we missed him. Regarding the load of child caring, there wasn't actually much changes, as 5-yr and 2-yr old are more than handful 😅.

At my wife m's side of grand parents house, m worried HG would be bored and would become too needy as both grand parents are busy at work. So m bought a very toy that involves intense instruction and building. HG finished building withing an afternoon.

How has the family been over the summer without the oldest child

5-yr old:

• Interim oldest, became very verbal, "chatty" might be a better fit, on many things. Unlike his older brother, who seems obsessed with logic and analytics as a child, AK is more random (which may be more normal as a child in that age range?). Because we were so used to HG's somewhat organized thought process, at least I felt this AK's randomness that emerged during this period was refreshing. To be frank I was annoyed in the beginning, but fortunately I embraced it in a few weeks.
• He took on some new things 👏. He started piano lesson, and martial arts (Taekwondo), the latter of which we attempted an year ago but he refused at the last minute.

  

  Within a few months since he started, AK took his first promotion test.
  

  
  

Siblings relation: AK is sweet and kind to 2-yr old LM. Because she has already entered the notorious "terrible-2" moment unfortunately, and combined with her destructive nature, even a sweet older brother was irritated a lot, resulted in frequent continued chaos.

Parents: As said earlier, level of freak was kept high 😓. Because they were physically separated, there was NO fight between 8-yr and 5-yr old 👍. But 8-yr could've been helpful for us parents if and only if we ask him. We didn't have that option while he was gone. Those two factors cancelled out each other.

How was the 8-year old in Japan?

Neither I nor my wife were with him while he was in Japan, so the following is what we heard from our families or what we saw over Pacific.

Order of the events over the 2 months: 

1. He flew by himself escorted by the airline
2. then picked up by my sister couple in Tokyo. On the same day they went back straight to my side of parents' home (3 to 4 hours away). 
3. There he stayed a little less than a week, adjusted to time difference, and spent time with my side of family. 
4. Moved to my wife's side of parents, started going to a local public school. 
5. He was also admitted by an after school program, which is also publicly funded and takes place conveniently in the same school, so that no one had to pick him up before he comes home. 
6. On Sundays he went to a church his great grandma and grand parents go to, bonded with an older friend. 
7. He continued the school for 6 and a half weeks, one day before he flew back.

Notable things in Japan:

• Both sides of grand parents took him to places. Jealous!

  

  Plane he was on (in red) arriving in Asia, some 18 hours after he left our home when we were still sentimental.

  
  

  

  Soba (buckwheat) noodle with papa's side of grand parents. He liked it already when he was 3, which he proved this time to hold now.
  

  
  
  

  

  Miniature zoo is a go-to place in Kinugawa onsen hotspring area.

  
  

  

  Routine visit to Kinugawa river in papa's hometown with veteran fishermen's welcome. This time the visit was too early for ayu/鮎/sweetwater fish, the tastiest purewater fish.
  

  
  

  

  HG's biased choice of borrowing from a local public library.

  
  

  

  Indoor (putter) golf is a thing in a tight Japanese living room, or at least in my parents' home.

  
  
• He made friends at the school and the church.
• He boasts about having eaten all meals served in school lunch (school lunch in Japan is known for incredible variety of menus. I myself got to have many meals for the first time in the school lunch, and that was delightful experience).

  

  Menu of a week at a local public school HG went to. Notice the variety of recipes and ingredients (even I've never had some of those ingredients). Barley soup, squid, aonori seaweed, woodear, monkfish. HG kept refusing some of these but he claims he ate all at the school.

  
  
• My wife called his mother to talk to HG almost every weekday. Conveniently the time she drives back home from her work in Georgia was the time he gets ready for school in the morning in Japan. As always, HG wouldn't talk about his day at school unless asked, he kept talking about whatever the things he was excited at that very time in a call 😆.
  
• Academically, he seems to have done fine, largely thanks to the Saturday language school he goes to in Atlanta. He got so much into kanji/漢字/Chinese letters, which many kids (or even adults) who learn Japanese struggle.
• He was probably and hopefully less emotional, freed from strict and cranky parents for 2 months.
• Interesting observation from my sister's husband who received HG at the airport and took care of the jet-laggy boy the 1st week: He sees HG was trying to see the upper limit of adults at each locations. Over the summer, HG were watched in 3 different settings: 1) with my sister couple, 2) with my old, retired parents, 3) with my wife's parents who are young and work tirelessly. In my understanding, HG became more demanding with my old parents who don't/can't push and scold HG, while he becomes more observant and listening with younger guardians.
• One of the things I personally dream of having my kids experience in Japan -- nature. That's beyond what I could request the families in Japan. It's saved for future trips with me.
• He had a privilege to be a "presenter" at his grandpa's award ceremony.
• Toward the end of his stay in Japan, he kept saying "I don't want to go back". "I want to go to schools in Japan".

How is the family dynamics after 8-year old returned

 Children at this age keeps growing and changing, so not all the changes regarding relationships and personalities can be rooted to the Japan trip. Having said that, there are changes and no-changes:

• Confidence in Japanese language boosted as expected!
• HG and 5-yr old brother AK are good friends, with LOTS of fighting every minute. They play hard together. HG mentions negative things toward his brother much more though.
• He is a bit of a mood swinger as an 8-yr older. We see it intensified. 

Things back to normal business but we're seeing more and more changes. We'll see.

First thing HG was into after coming home in the US -- an artbook of a video game the family indulged (Last Guardian / 人喰いの大鷲トリコ).